One of my former students is working on a series titled “Dear 18 Year Old Me.” He asked me if I’d be willing to throw my thoughts into the mix, and I welcomed the opportunity to pause and reflect. When I look back at the last 19 years, I’ve had a pretty good life. I have a beautiful family. We have a great home. I love what I do for a living. When it’s all said and done, I’d have to say that things have worked out pretty well for me so far, but there are always things that we wish we would have done differently. There are things I wish I would have done better. There are things that I wish I wouldn’t have done at all. There are things that I wish I never would have stopped doing. There are relationships that I wish I would have spent more time developing. If I could go back 19 years in time, I think this is what I would like to say to my 18-year-old self…

Dear 18-year-old me,

Learn to love to read NOW. Don’t wait until your late 20’s to realize how valuable reading can be. Leaders are readers, and the level of your influence will be directly correlated to the amount of reading that you do. Camp out in the business/leadership section of Barnes & Noble. There is so much good stuff out there, and it applies to your life in so many ways.

Invest in your college relationships. I know you’re going to be busy with football, class, etc… Take time to invest in your relationships with your teammates and the guys in your small group. Those are relationships that you will want to have later in life.

Don’t let anyone outwork you. You can get by on talent. You can get by with “good grades.” However, that will not leave you satisfied, and you will not get as much out of your college experience as you should if you just settle for “good enough.”

BE PATIENT. This applies to so many areas in your life. There is no quick fix, and short cuts usually do not lead you to where you really want to go. Nobody falls onto the top of the mountain. You have to grind your way to the top, and the grind is what will shape you. Be humble, and seek out mentors as you go through your journey. Ask them as many questions as you can, and learn as much as you can from each one of them.

Focus on your purpose. You are going to love what you do for a living, but do not lose sight of why you do what you do. You are on this earth to make a difference in the lives of others. Wins, losses, promotions, and everything else will all take care of themselves as long as you focus on loving people, serving people, and adding value to their lives.

Be a husband, a dad, a brother, and a friend first, and NEVER FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. Again, you will love what you do for a living. It’s the best job in the world, but you cannot allow the most important people in your life to sit on the sidelines and sacrifice while they watch you continually invest in other people. Your wife, your children, your family, and your friends deserve the best you have to give, not what’s left over. This is MUCH easier said than done.

Finally, explore your musical interests. Keep singing. You’re going to learn how to play guitar soon. Once you do, keep playing. Very few things in life will give you as much pleasure as leading worship and playing/singing for others. Get out of your comfort zone, and get involved in the praise and worship team at whatever church you attend. Do not use “your schedule” as an excuse not to. It’s a crutch. Find a way early in life, or it just won’t happen.

Stay positive. Live the dream. You’re going to do great!

Sincerely,

Your 37-year-old self